I don’t know how to sell it any harder. THERE’S A PLACE IN BAJA, MEXICO WHERE YOU CAN PET WHALES!!!
Tag: north america
When one mentions a plan to visit the city of Knoxville, Tennessee to a true Simpsons nerd, the response comes swiftly: “Are you going to visit the Wigsphere?!”
You’re goddamn right I am.
The email read: “You won. Call me to set up the ride of your life.”
The family-friendly vacation destination of Pigeon Forge, Tennessee is freckled with dozens of whimsically themed mini-golf courses and a Biblical Times Dinner Theater. But it’s also home to Ted Bundy’s Volkswagen and John Wayne Gacy’s clown suits.
When I mentioned I might be eating at Dooky Chase’s Restaurant to one New Orleans resident, she clapped her hands twice while stomping her foot to punctuate her endorsement: “DOOKY. CHASE!”
If you want to be happier, pet more dogs. If you want to completely overdose on happiness to the point of exploding, make your way to one of southern California’s triannual Corgi Beach Days!
There are inherent problems with attempting to do a public event based on Star Wars when you clearly don’t have authorization to use any intellectual property related to Star Wars. But you’ll probably still sucker me in anyway.
There is a sloth named Lola who lives at the Wildlife Learning Center in Sylmar, California. She has a sloth boyfriend named Sid. They are both equally adorable. And if you really want to make it happen, you can invite one of them over to your house for the afternoon!
When Tesco Vee is on stage singing with The Meatmen, offensive lyrics about crippled children spew out of his mouth and it’s guaranteed that he will shake an inflatable penis (or two) in your face. When Tesco Vee is relaxing at home, he collects toys.